I'm afraid of building the exact business I want
and that's exactly why I am doing it anyways
Mariah Mueller
Dec 28, 2025
I’m just going to say the thing we’re all thinking as we’re taking the biggest leap into 2026. The year of the fire horse. Where the shedding of all of the old shit that no longer serves us meets the next version that we haven’t met yet. What if I do fu*k up the very foundation of the business that I want SO bad? What if I get lost in the “I just need to make money” survival mode that I was raised in? AND what if it’s even better than I can imagine? The dream clients who trust me, respect my time, energy and family-first model. The consistent $10,000+ months while working 25 hours a week or less and always prioritizing my babies. The network of incredible, beautiful, soul-aligned humans who are all cheering one another on and referring clients to one another left and right. Just because my rational, logical brain cannot comprehend how that version of success exists without constant stress, without being “on” all the time, without pretending I have everything figured out, etc. doesn’t mean it’s not already mine. There is a part of me that believes success automatically equals self-abandonment, and that is exactly what I continue to find proof of…until I stop looking for it.
I hired a mentor back in September and it has been the best decision for where I am at in my business because it has invited permission to:
See a business owner who LOVES her life, has two kids, makes crazy amounts of money from aligned offers that don’t drain her and deliver insane value to her clients
Realize how important my ability to see my own worth and trust myself actually is (aka messaging, content, sales, etc. don’t mean shit if they’re coming from a foundation of fear, uncertainty and self-doubt).
Be a beginner!!! This gets to be fun. I get to change my mind. I make the rules. I get to be the business owner I want to see in the world. HOW COOL IS THAT?!
So while I am terrified to “fail” at creating my dream business, I also know that I am going to do it anyways because I am THAT girl.
My highest self is screaming: DO IT ANYWAYS
Right now, I am being asked to do it despite the fear. Not in a cutesy suggestive way, in a VERY loud and clear assignment from my highest self kind of way. Because if I just let the story of my “what if’s” become my reality, then I’m cock-blocking myself from the opportunity of ever actually experiencing the divinity of the dream business I am here to cultivate. Because what if it doesn’t have to be full of stress, over-delivering and undervaluing myself, self abandonment and fear?? If I’ve proved anything to myself over the last 5 years it’s that I KNOW how to pivot when I need to pivot. I know when to push through discomfort (hello, sober 5 years and birthed 2 babies unmedicated), I know when to set a boundary and when I need to have a lovingly hard conversation. So the part of me that fears whether this gets to be as playful, easy, exciting and energizing as I desire it to be or not — she needs me to show up with certainty because WE KNOW it does.
What I’m leaving behind in 2025
So here’s what I am leaving behind in order to call this dream business forward:
Rigid offers - not because I don’t have boundaries and will bend sideways to fit into places that don’t align. But because the energetics behind being someone’s right hand woman, in the most sacred, tender parts of their journey as a business owner with a FULL life outside of their business is that it’s not going to be a one size fits all. I just started working with a dream client because she communicated to me that she wants my support but can’t make the financial leap of my full container right now and I responded with a custom proposal that gives her the opportunity to spend what feels safe and not commit to a 6-12 month container that may send her nervous system into overload.
Hourly Work - this has always felt really unaligned for me because the thought of tracking every amount of time I spend thinking about projects is impossible, exhausting and draining. It invites the energy of “I have to do this in ‘x’ amount of time and if I can’t then I’ve failed.”
The illusion of having it all figured out - this is complete and utter bullsh* and that’s coming from someone who has been inside very successful businesses backend operations, ok!!!! The most successful people do it anyway and know when to ask for help.
Being afraid to fail - that literally translates to “I don’t believe in myself” and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am ALL IN and WANT to experience what I need to to let myself grow!!!
“Professionalism” - this just feels like one of those bro marketing walls we put up to avoid vulnerability and create unnecessary separation, competition and comparison. We know structure and strategy are essential, duh, and we can still lead with love, honesty, and humanness.
My word of the year for 2026: Integration
The work I love most is always with the intention of integrating what exists right now with the vision you have for the future. I recently connected with a dream client and the job description she wrote out was FULL of phrases and feelings that light me up. The title of the role was VA/OBM (The Integrator) and when I saw that word “integrator” my cells awoken. Titles always felt silly to me, but the integrator is the most accurate way to describe what I am here to do. Connect with wildly successful business owners who desire a partner to plan, execute and stay grounded with as they level up to be of service to as many people as they can reach while tending to their nervous system. This year is going to epic. I am so grateful to be in this expansion with you and can’t wait to meet your expression of love, grief and all the nuance that comes with being a passionate human.
More on what’s ahead next week!!!
