The rage of the working mother: what no one tells you about building a business in survival mode
A brutally honest look at motherhood, debt, grief, boundaries, and the messy middle of anti-hustle entrepreneurship.
Mariah Mueller
Dec 12, 2025
If you’re meeting me in this season, hi, I’m processing a lot of rage right now, welcome in. I literally just screamed at my husband in front of my kids in the middle of the Wegmans parking lot because I had one of those breaking point moments that I swore “I had recovered from”. HAHA newsflash, friends - you will never stop receiving messages in BOLD until you start receiving messages in regular plain text. If you get it, you get it.
So what’s the f*cking point?
I started a business back in February technically and the foundation of the work I do is: I am anti-hustle, pro-nervous system awareness. Which is cool as hell, right? So instead of pushing through, losing sleep to seem more productive/“get ahead” we’re getting honest with our capacity and holding boundaries around when we’re actually available. Which feels SO good when I see multi-six figure earners talk about it. People who already have cash flow in their business. People who have the financial means to go all in on their business. I, do not (what a cool story I’ve created to keep myself as FAR away from what I want as possible, right?). I started this business already in personal credit card debt and my partner is doing his best to support us all financially with his full(ish) time job, while being a dad because we can’t afford full time childcare, all so I can work 25 hours a week running this business with my 4 month old who breastfeeds on demand (she’s not the problem, that’s the dream).
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The elephant in the room is: the cost of living is HIGH (and some other things)
So here’s what I’m discovering!! You can be present with all of the shit going on in your life. You can be sober. You can be laser focused on your goals. You can move your body and do the somatic practices to process your shit instead of just intellectualizing it. You can write out your budget and stay on top of it week after week. You can set boundaries around how much you can actually take on without burning yourself out and being a mom. You can raise your prices so that you’re charging what you actually need to support your family. You can have the mentor, the clear messaging, the brand designed content, and guess what? You can even do the energetic work to clear the old money stories and self worth stories again and again and again. But you know what you can’t change? The cost of living. The interest rates on the credit cards you already have. The cost of childcare. The fact the billionaires have become billionaires by keeping the working class as burned out and desperate as we all feel.
We literally live with my grandparents to not have to pay rent so that we can put that chunk of money towards debt so that we can eventually start saving for a house. There is nothing glamorous about the shit we have to do to survive as the working/middle/low class!!! Nobody talks about the chapters of being a business owner where you’re drowning financially but simultaneously feel in your bones and KNOW that you can make GOOOD money doing what you love. And that you have to be a little delusional to get there.
But is that the story we want to attach to?
So here’s what the rage that’s visiting is teaching me:
I am pacing myself after 1) having my second baby this past July (4 months pp), 2) just having lost my papa who I’d been helping take care of the last 8 months more than I anticipated I would have 3) opening my doors for client work when I’m genuinely scared of being as maxed out in my body as I have been in the past. And newsflash - that’s a lot!!!! No wonder why I’m scared of being maxed out when I’m existing in a reality where life is not feeling spacious, financially easeful or full of play.
So what are my options? Sit in fear and doubt my ability to manage my capacity so I never open my doors until “life slows down” which is a hilarious concept now that I have 2 kids. Or, I open my doors to 2 deeply aligned clients and trust myself to be able to communicate what I need when I need it without burning out. And when your body is SO used to the cycle of being dragged down by:
not having clear boundaries with the people you love and saying yes way more than you should
putting in time “after hours” to appear more “on it” than you actually have the capacity for and so you lose sleep and wonder why you’re snapping at everyone
saying yes to work you don’t actually love because you feel like you need to accept any form of money to pay down debt asap
the fear of not making enough money to survive and furthering the pit of credit card debt
You shut down, freeze, and retreat to what’s been comfortable and familiar your whole life. You vent to the people who validate your experience because it’s also their own. You buy something on Amazon for your kids instead of asking your community if anyone has that same thing that they’re not using anymore. You sneak back into these behaviors that have literally been all you’ve known to keep you safe, alive and fed (we’re talking basic basic needs here) and then you resent money, the people who have it, and you tell yourself how hard this is over and over again. And then what happens? Your brain finds proof of those stories EVERYWHERE.
Now I’m talking at you as my highest self
I’m going to hold your hand and my baby while I say this: I need you to trust yourself. I need you to double down on the reality you KNOWWWW you’re calling forward for yourself and your kids because you KNOWWW you’ll do anything for your family and don’t have to sacrifice your nervous system to do it. You know how to listen to your nervous system, that’s what you’re doing right now by being cautious about your next steps. You’re literally feeling a pattern creep in and saying “oh no, pump the breaks, this is dangerous.”
And here’s the truth: if you don’t open your doors because you’re scared to burn out, you’re literally just cockblocking your chance to ever experience your dream life because you’re expecting it’ll be too hard. Or expecting that you won’t be able to have the conversations you need to have to keep your boundaries in check. Or expecting that your dream clients don’t exist because you’ve never been clear enough about who they are and therefore aren’t talking to them.
But guess what?!! You showing up with certainty and trusting yourself to say yes to what’s aligned and pivot when it’s not is how you get out of the messy middle and into your most aligned life. I’m literally living proof of that. I’m existing in the space where I have both: massive credit card debt and my dream clients waiting for me to be available. And I can attest that saying no to opportunities or closing doors on what hasn’t been serving you when you don’t have tangible proof is the scariest trust fall you’ll ever take. But don’t you already know it’s going to work out??? You have that clarity and deep inner knowing because in another timeline it’s already yours. So - double down, trust yourself to make the responsible/practical life decisions AND honor that deep knowing that you’re meant for more. Then show up as her. Show up as the version of you who is booked out and not burnt out. How does she communicate? What does she say yes or no to? She’s kind, well loved, surrounded by support and deep relationships. She’s a lifelong learner and isn’t afraid to be wrong because she knows how to figure it out and doesn’t take shortcuts. She’s honest and respected for how clearly she communicates. She is you. You are her. Now go act like it.
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